Red, White & Roux: Criticism stings, but ‘life is beautiful'

Nobody likes me.

Everybody hates me.

Think I'll go eat worms.

Oh, I was riding high after my column on the teacher merit pay bill in the legislature. Lots of folks complimented me, and I received a thoughtful and articulate response online at www.apalachtimes.com. In a later column I went so far as to laud the forum for public discourse that the paper's website provided. I wrote about how I was able to take criticism and encouraged readers to bring it on.

Then my column reminiscing about home economists got 10 negative votes and this bit of wisdom, “Please get these wannabe writers out of your rag and get some real content.”

Well, that made a liar out of me, hurt my feelings, and put me into a tailspin way out of proportion to the situation. I didn't write for two weeks, and just let myself generally wallow around feeling trivial and inadequate. My friends reminded me that the postings were anonymous and that there are petty, mean-spirited people out there. I knew that, but I will never understand how anyone can be so purposefully hurtful.

Mother's advice would be to rise above it.

I really am trying, but don't we seem to have quite a bit dragging us down these days? The impending local effect of the oil disaster has us all on edge. It reminds me of the feeling we have while waiting for the results of medical tests. Once we know the diagnosis we take action. Not knowing is the big anxiety producer.

And on the subject of health, I have total knee replacement scheduled for June 14. Okay, I know that many others have endured it successfully and that I shouldn't be such a whiney baby. Mama had a very tough time of it though, and her voice keeps resonating in my head.

Then there is the end-of-the-school-year angst. Did I actually teach my children anything of value? Will their FCAT scores reflect any growth? And how about that job evaluation? Only satisfactory or highly effective?

Actually, I am fairly optimistic on those three fronts. I have finally found a way to engage my Intensive Reading kids. We are doing Reader's Theater with scripts I downloaded from the Internet. They are having some real fun hamming it up as they read aloud. I am amazed. I did “Night” by Elie Wiesel with my regular 10th grade students. They were quietly mesmerized and actually did individual research on World War II and the Holocaust. I showed the film “Life is Beautiful” as an extension activity. You may remember it. While in a concentration camp, an Italian father creates a game to protect his son from the horrors that surround them. The movie has subtitles. Even my reluctant readers figured out the technique of quick reading, watching, and listening to the native language. The complaints on the first day quickly faded away to, “Ms. Roux, can we please watch more of that movie today?” (Okay, I know they should say “may” instead of “can,” but I let it go).

As to my evaluation, well, I have kept a portfolio with a written narrative. I think I will be able to provide proof for all the lessons and activities I do as a matter of course. We were warned at the beginning of the year that documentation is everything. Too bad that all that time spent keeping records can't be used planning lessons.

To rise above my blue funk, I have also been focusing on the small bits of joy that come my way. My Japanese plum trees were loaded this year and I invited everyone at school to come and pick. Others stopped in front of the house to ask permission. My favorites were the little hammerknockers on bikes who brazened into the yard on their own. I was inside but I heard them say, “Are we gonna get in trouble?” I shushed my mate who wanted to reassure them all was well. Japanese plums test best when they are stolen.

I got a tip about dewberries on the island. There is an abundance this year. I picked enough for six individual deep-dish pies. My green beans are producing, the potatoes seem very happy, but I am furious at the wee beasties attacking my tomatoes. The basil is out of control and I made enough pesto today to feed the multitudes. I froze batches of it in plastic bags. I sure hope that works.

I bet a home economist would know.

Denise Roux is a regular columnist for the Apalachicola and Carrabelle Times. To reach her, email her at rouxwhit@mchsi.com